...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
