You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
