I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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