I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
