He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
