I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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