so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
