She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize