You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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