Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
