i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
