And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
