...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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