I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
