A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
