I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
