Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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