mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
