i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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