Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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