i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
