Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
