I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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