So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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