I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
