I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
