Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will pee on everything he values.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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