I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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