I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
