using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
