i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize