can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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