Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just invented taco cereal.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
