At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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