And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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