People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
