Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
