How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
