Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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