Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
