Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
