i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
