I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
