it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
