physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
