The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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