I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
