I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
