operation have a gay friend backfired
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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