okay pat passed out under dana's car
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
