i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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