I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
