Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
