New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
