Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
where are my eyebrows?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
