how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dicks are not precious.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
