Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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