Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
