The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He passed out mid-signature
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
