so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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