Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I pour the whiskey from now on
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize