I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
