Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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