Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
