what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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