I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
