i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
