Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
