What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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