Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
