i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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