how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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