But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
