I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
