we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
