How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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