I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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